You live with it and it's never going to end. You stop expecting anything. Any hopes or dreams have long since disappeared. Each day brings the totally unexpected and is the same. False reports. Little hinted-at canards to dupe the duplicitous...The sand eats into your young bones and you feel as old as the Universe. Nothing ever happened before this...no end in sight...Bravery isn't an act you even contemplate...Everyone shitting themselves before they go into action...You may not fear, but you are still afraid.